RE: LEGISLATIVE SLAP AND GENDER EQUALITY

  email Reactions to the author as published below Are IN THEIR ORIGINAL FORMS.

Because of the sensitive of some of reactions and the request for anonymity by some of the senders,

only the first names of writers are used, while hidden their email identities.

Dear Mr. Shuaib,

I read with interest in the Financial Standard of November 22, 2004, your article titled “legislative slaps and gender equality”. I would like to comment on the role women play in marriage and family life. In your article you stated that “the more powerful, rich and influential the woman becomes, the more she seeks disengagement from her partner”, and also you asked the question “how many women in powerful political positions still give their husbands that tradition and religious respect.

               Sir, I agree with you absolutely. As a man, I have seen that the respect women give men has eroded over the years. In the days of our parents and grandparents, the woman honours and respects her husband, unfortunately all that is history today.

               In the Bible, Ephesians 5:22-24 states “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything”.

               Unfortunately the women of these days are arrogant, stubborn, rude, defiant and bossy. This was not the way God planned it to be.  If we look at most failed marriages, it would be in one way or the other, due to the woman’s impatience, arrogant and stubborn behaviour. A good woman should be calm, long suffering, humble, respectful, patient and God fearing. Such a woman would have the unflinching love of her husband. The fact she has these attributes does not make her a dunce or a dummy. I believe one of the reasons for the arrogance of women is the fact that they cannot handle success. Whenever a woman is successful in her career or gets promoted to managerial or other senior positions in her place of work, she immediately gets swollen headed and believes she doesn’t need her husband and can go it all alone.

               I was at the petrol station one day and there was a queue and a woman was next to be served and she didn’t move her car, she said that her fuel tank was on the other side and she had to buy fuel from the pump that is on the same side as her fuel tank, but there was a queue there, so she switched off her engine and blocked everybody. I went to talk to the fuel attendant who promised that the pump will get to her but still she refused to move, blocking everybody. My car was behind her and I tried to persuade her to move her car but she refused. The woman in the car behind me came out and we started talking about the situation. I asked her why the women of these days were different from the women of yester years who were respectful and obeyed their husbands in all things.  She said that in those days the women did not work and depended on their husband for everything. But these days most women work, and earn money and are not dependent on their husbands.

               I ask the same question you asked in your article, “how many women in powerful political positions, top management positions in big companies and banks or those that own successful business, still give their husbands that traditional and religious respect? Unfortunately I would say about 5 per cent or less. It is very unfortunate. It is not the way God intended it to be. I don’t know what solution can be found, or do we say that a woman should not work, but should stay at home to take care of the home and the children?

Old fashioned as it may seem, this may be the only solution.

Ibidapo D.

Your writing above is a piece every right thinking woman must read and to realize that there is need for them to change their perceptions about this modern world where they thinking they can treat their men anyhow. I thank you for being bold and courageous enough to point out their evil side. Let them know that the man must be given his respect as the leader of the house and the bread winner.

Lamurde M.

When I read your piece in the arewaonline, which was posted to me, I was forced to print the copy and show it to my fiancée. She didn’t like it at first after reading it, with joke and fun the message was very clear to her. I let her understand that she may have anything she wants from meto be a good wife and mother to my children but I wont tolerate act of insubordination as exhibited by some women. She reason with me and promise to make the copy available to her friend who has not been kind to her husband. I commend you for the write-up. But are you married?

Sasuyi P.

If you think you expect to be praised by your damning and condemnable article, you are in for surprise. It is unfortunately men like you can still write to create disharmony among couple. Are you saying men should not allow their wives to work in supporting their home or your prayer is to see wives only performing house-girls' duties like washing husband and children clothes and cooking foods and remain at home to sleep and add weight? Honestly, your article is a disappointment to the married men and women. I am surprise that you were even given a space to make those useless and unsubstantiated allegations against women. We will see where it will take you to.

Monica E.

Can I advise you that whenever you write for public consumption, you should please make case for what will unite us and not what may divide us. Only God knows, how many men’s mind could have been polluted by your uncharitable and childish innuendoes?

Remi O.

May Allah Subhanau Watala reward you abundantly, for the home truth and sermon you dish to the women who think they can do everything man can do. Wallahi many homes were destroyed by the lack of obedience from the wives to they husbands. The moment you give women too much chances, you should be ready for many troubles. There are many examples of broken homes amongst our elites, just because the men want to copy the whitemen’s style. But our culture and environment is not matured and not sinful to that level. May God Almighty protect us and our family.

Mustapha T.

Honestly, your piece was timely. Luckily enough my wife who is working with one of the government agency brought the newspaper home and she couldn’t have read the piece early. It was later after I digested it and kept the page open on the dining table that she got the gist. Even though she looked sober afterward, but there is nothing I can do as a man after my retirement.

               Mr. Shuaib, could you believe that I sponsored my wife's education; got her employed while I was Senior Management staff in one of the big ministry. But no sooner than I retired from service, after I have made sure my official quarters was assigned to her than she proves to me the other side of a woman. She has restricted the number of visitor that can stay and visit us at home. She travels almost on every weekend in the name of official social engagement and duties. I have forgotten the last time my wife cook for me as the house-cook provides my meal and even takes care of the children. My wife even has the got during one of our misunderstanding that women have come of age and are equal to the man.

               Though after reading that article she couldn’t talk that day but we had some healthy chat some days later, which were quite unusual. Whether she will change fully or not, I am old now to take quarrel with her and pray that my children will not be morally corrupted by her unbecoming behaviours. But for your writing, keep it up.

Mohammed A.

It is unfortunate that a reputable newspaper can allow your rubbish article to be published in their Opinion page when it is defamatory, libelous and full of nonsense. What a man do you consider yourself and those you represent to be? If you expect women to remain idle without job and became pauper after the death of their husband, then you are making a grievous mistake. How many women are into prostitution and begging after the death of their husband? How many men have bequeathed their properties to their girlfriends and extended family and leave their faithful wives to lick their fingers and wounds after their demise? The civilisation, which give the man to be taking a lot of mistresses and concubines in the name of additional wives has compel the woman to look inward to take preventive measures in case of uncertainty of death, divorce and wickedness of men. That your article to say the least is very disappointing and unfortunate.

Laraba G. (On behalf of an NGO)

Though I like your presentation and argument but the theme of your message is not in good fate. It seems you restricted your message to the women in full political activities, the line of argument is more of overgeneralization to include working women who are quite different from those female politicians. Many working women have sustained their home and receive their spouses' commendation for remaining faithful and loyal while still remained focus and committed to their jobs. For those of us who are in working class, your writing is not fair to us. Please mind your language when discussing family and social values.

Mariya J.

 A man like you showed me your opinion in the office, and to his face I pointed out several loopholes in your writing such as grammatical inaccuracies and structural defect. I read it but it did not convey any sensible message to me apart from trash upon trash. You need to do a lot of home work if you intend to challenge the womenfolk. By the way are you marriage? If you are, I really pity the innocent woman in your custody, whom I suspect must be enduring your dictatorial tendencies. But if you are not married, I suggest you go to your village and marry  a stark illiterate slave-girl.

Tyna D.

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